In Which It’s Not Right But It’s Not Rape

After seeing this post of mine someone said it was stupid so I asked them why which caused them to have a conniption fit that I have broken down and numbered to make it easier to reply to.

Because you and all of the halfwit “feminists” such as yourself seem to love accusing me of supporting rapists, I would like to take a moment to say-as I have countless times before-that I don’t. Why would I? Just because I don’t agree with the woman doesn’t mean I support what the predator is doing. There are more than two sides to take on this. My position is that they are both in the wrong.

1. “You’re policing women into the behavior you think is respectable.”

You mean like you’re doing? You mean like every human being with a will on the planet is doing to every other person on the planet; not just women? So yes, you’re right: I am policing people-not just women-into a behaviour I think is respectable and that behaviour, which is so alien to the self-entitled little shits of your generation, is the behaviour to accept responsibility for both yourself and your actions.

2. “You seem to think rape is an acceptable consequence for getting drunk.”

I do not. As I’ve said before, it is not rape, therefore, no. What you’re doing is throwing the word “rape” around; a word that incites an emotional response in people that will get them to side with you and it is disgusting. You’re trying to expand the definition of what rape is which will only dilute the actual meaning and seriousness of rape. My dictionary says:

"Rape- the crime of forcing a person to submit to sexual intercourse”

Force. Force. FORCE. As in: no other choice but to accept which is very different from unwilling (1. hesitant 2. done, given, or said reluctantly).

In this situation the woman is still willingly going off with the guy, he is not forcing himself upon the “victim”. Therefore it is not rape. That doesn’t mean it’s right but it’s still not rape. This, you ignoramus, is rape:

3. “You think a man who sleeps with a woman without her giving CLEAR consent is not rape.”

YOU think a man who sleeps with a woman without her giving a CLEAR refusal is a rapist. I don’t; it’s preposterous! Men can’t read minds and body signals are easy to misinterpret especially when you are out of your mind (in this case drunk).

4. “You think clothing is an acceptable excuse for being harassed and raped… You think women encourage rape by their clothing.”

Good lord, not this clothing nonsense again. Not an original thought in that head of yours is there? As I’ve said many times before: No, I do not. Revealing clothing was not designed for women to “feel good about themselves” as so many seem to think, it was designed for the sole purpose of garnering sexual attentions (what showing off your body actually means) and if you wear such clothing, then you will both encourage and receive sexual attentions. If you do not want sexual attentions then DON’T wear clothing designed for that purpose. If you don’t want to be eaten by a bear, don’t go out in the woods naked and covered in honey. Expect it and accept it.

5. “You seem to think that if the woman was too drunk to remember, shes lying about being raped.”

No, I just think she’s too drunk to remember. If she was so drunk she can’t remember the night before, how does she know she was raped? We cannot properly convict someone with a partially remembered drunken narrative of something that might have happened. And I assume you misunderstood me when I said, “We cannot trust her judgment.” This means that we cannot trust her judgment because she was wasted, not that she was lying.

6. “You seem to think women encourage rape by their clothing.”

I could point you once more to number 4 but I’d like to talk about what I believe is meant when people say ‘encourage’. What they are saying is that there are certain things you can do that will increase your chances of rape, such as walking down dark alleys, walking alone at night, or not locking your doors. When you wear promiscuous clothing, you are promoting feelings of sexual arousal, which many people, myself included, logically conclude may increase the chance of a rape. Not all men are rapists (duh), but one of those guys staring at you just may have the antisocial tendencies that will lead to him raping somebody and your erotic clothing may be what tips the scale in his crazy brain.

7. “From the explanation you gave, I can really only think that you think a woman  is basically, not allowed to act, dress, or do what she wants. She has to act, dress, and do things that will not have any chance of attracting any attention, whether she wants it or not.”

I don’t think anyone should be able to do whatever he or she wants. If you really want to use that argument then you can’t argue against people taking advantage of other people because they-the people taking advantage-are also doing “whatever they want”. So, congratulations, you just blew apart your own argument and justified the actions of the people you’re supposedly against in only two sentences. Furthermore, why would someone dress in a way that will attract attention if they don’t want it?

8. “No one ever says a man, or a drunk man deserved being rape.”

Referring to the situation we are speaking of, I have never heard of a man waking up next to a woman after a night of drinking and, upon regretting his actions-getting drunk, having sex-call it rape.

9. “Are there women who claim to be raped even when they haven’t? Of course. Are there people who claim to not be drunk while operating a car? Are there people who try to frame other people for their crimes? There are always individuals who try to manipulate the law for their own gain.”

I really cannot figure out the correlation between this chunk and the rest of your argument much less how it supports it. By saying that a person who says no to being led away then allows themselves to be led away, is rape, you are allowing a wider window for these individuals to abuse the law. This is not so much about me trying to get idiots to act less like idiots than it is about preventing the definition of rape becoming something that is open to interpretation.

10. “I just don’t understand why people continue to belittle women until being attacked is their fault.”

“belittle- to regard or portray as less impressive or important than appearances indicate.”

How am I belittling women? By not agreeing with every choice every single woman makes? I don’t even need to belittle women; they’re doing a spectacular job of it themselves. Having trouble wrapping your stupid, teenage, “feminist” brain around that? Let me explain:

These modern “feminists” are a complete and utter joke. They’re not about equality; they’re not about empowerment of women. They’ll want you to believe they are about that and, due to a misunderstanding of the meaning of ‘empowerment’, they believe they do stand for that—but they don’t. The feminist movement nowadays is about control. It’s about having power over others (which is not what empowerment means). One way of gaining power and control is to use centuries of mistreatment and abuse of women to guilt men (and women) into behaving a certain way to the benefit of women.A common way that this history is abused is by a woman willingly putting herself into a position where she will be victimized and then blames everyone for the outcome but herself. This is called “playing the victim” and, because of the centuries of abuse, is usually very effective in gaining sympathies from both men and women. Because, you know, if you aren’t with them, you support abuse towards women. Coming full circle: feminism nowadays is a joke because you can’t be a victim and be empowered at the same time.

Don’t be a victim. Don’t allow yourself to be victimized. Don’t victimize others. You are allowing women to victimize themselves and I would say that is entirely anti-feminist because you are supporting the self-victimization of women, thereby working directly against the empowerment of women. YOU are anti-feminist.

11. “No one goes out asking for rape, no matter how they appear.”

They’re not asking for rape but they are sending out a certain message about themselves and about what they want i.e. sexual attentions. And because I am so sick of hearing this (see number 4 again), what, may I ask, do you think the message of a woman wearing revealing clothing sends to the world?

12. “The consequence for getting drunk should be a hangover and a couple embarrassing stories. No woman deserves to be taken advantage of.”

Nobody deserves to be taken advantage of. Stop applying this solely to women to gain sympathy. Being taken advantage of is always a risk of getting shit-faced; that’s what a large amount of those embarrassing stories are. Duh-hurrrr. I’m also glad you finally realized this isn’t rape; it’s being taken advantage of (see number 2).

Your argument sucks and it consists of the same bullshit everyone throws at me and then flees when they fail to counter my reply, so please, if you cannot reply to this with anything more clever than accusing me of supporting rapists, saying I believe women deserve to get raped, or that it’s stupid, then don’t bother replying at all.

In Which You Are Not A Rape Victim-Merely An Idiot.

A while back I got a message in my inbox from an emotionally enraged twenty-one year old female after she saw this post of mine. The exchange went as follows:

Her: “are you seriously saying if a girls drunk and gets raped a girl its her fault??”

Moi: “Mostly her fault, yes. What the guy did is most certainly not okay but she chose to put herself in a situation in which she is vulnerable and can be taken advantage of.”

Her: “oh for god sake. its people like you that decieve rapists into thinking its not their fault. the majority of this world drinks! she probally chose to have fun and have some drinks with friends that is not a welcome sign to rapists. i honestly cant believe that you think if a girl is drunk and gets raped its her fault..a guy has no right to take advantage of you when youre in a vulnerable state. youre seriously deluded. maybe if you were ever in a vulnerable state and got raped you might think differently.”

(I chose to ignore all the ridiculous aspects of this situation (such as “Wow, that girl must have some rubbish friends if they let her stumble off drunkenly with a complete stranger.” and “Obviously a girl getting wasted in public is a welcome sign to predators if they’re being taken advantage of. Derp.”)

Myself: “You’re right. The majority of people do drink. But there is a difference between getting drunk and getting completely wasted and most people know not to get to the point where they have no control over there actions. You are also right to believe that what the guy did was wrong because it was. He is a disgusting sleazebag but he is not a rapist. The people making these decisions are adults and they need to deal with the consequences of their actions but since most of them won’t do that they have to blame someone else for what happened to them.”

Her: “if while they were drunk they agreed to having sex but the next day said it was rape then yes i agree the guy didnt rape her..but clearly if she said no or was passed out it is rape”

The passing out bit I didn’t bother with because she’s drunk; of course she’s going to pass out. But the second one I had to think about because the woman is saying no. However, I was struck with one very prominent thought: If the woman is wasted, how does she even know she’s being raped? After some consultation with my sister I sent this back:

Me: “It is tempting to side with you when you state it in that manner. However, there are several things that still concern me and leave me hesitant to call that rape. Alcohol severely affects the judgment centers of our brains and when we drink, we are essentially—and willingly—giving up the ability to say no. A person cannot make reliable judgments, such as whether or not it is safe to drive home, and if they cannot properly judge that, how can they possibly judge whether or not they actually wanted to have sex?

As that woman’s sign said, she was flirting and wearing clothing designed to incite arousal in men which gives the impression that she was encouraging them. We don’t know what her original intentions were—whether or not she wanted to have sex—and we can’t know. The only “evidence” we have to support her accusation of rape is the story she authored from the bits and pieces she remembers from the night before. She cannot possibly remember every event and why she did what she did-she was wasted, which is why I can’t trust her judgment.”

I received no reply to this so I waited a couple days and then mailed her again asking if she had gotten my reply. She informed me that she had sent two replies back, neither of which I got. I am receiving mail from all other people just fine so I assumed she was bluffing. On the off chance that she wasn’t, I told her I could send it again so she could try once more. I did not hear anything back.

I’m really getting sick of all the hype over this particular situation, mainly because it is entirely preventable.

Don’t get shit-faced.

Or, if you do, make sure you go out with someone you can trust to take care of you.

Seriously people. This should not be so hard to figure out.

This is not rape.
If you are not responsible for your sexual actions while drunk, then you cannot hold a drunk driver accountable for killing someone.
He’s a douchebag for taking advantage of you, but this is an entirely preventable situation.
Don’t get shit-faced.

This is not rape.

If you are not responsible for your sexual actions while drunk, then you cannot hold a drunk driver accountable for killing someone.

He’s a douchebag for taking advantage of you, but this is an entirely preventable situation.

Don’t get shit-faced.